As female entrepreneurs, we have an innate curiosity, passion for connection, and a deep desire to ‘be the change’, whilst making a living from it. Thanks to the gift of the Internet and social media, we have an endless playground to create: stunning images, meaningful blog posts, opt in offers that inspire and Tweets that cause ‘aha moments’ – to name a few.

This also means, however, that we are just one click away from comparison. Scrolling through an industry leader’s site can invoke that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, that yours will never reach the lofty heights of theirs. Thoughts creep up along the lines of “Why would anyone read what I write?” or “Why even bother – it’s all been done before!”

So how can we embrace our vulnerability and be proud of our own voice?

1. Research, then stop

When creating something new, researching the market and the needs of your future clients is a great place to start. Once you’ve gotten a taste of what else is out there, however – stop. Take the time to sit back and craft your idea, with your voice, personality and style. If you’re trying to sound like someone else, it won’t come across as authentic and definitely won’t resonate with your audience.

Is there is a page you’ve followed, or a mailing list that you’ve signed up to, that is making you feel inadequate? Consider unfollowing or unsubscribing until you feel more confident in your work, and once you’re ready, you can reconnect.


2. Allow your ego to feel safe

We all have the voice of ego in our head telling us that everything we’re writing is rubbish or attracting clients is impossible… But believe it or not – this voice actually has a purpose! It comes from deep within our basic survival instinct. If we push ourselves, or step outside our comfort zone, our ego does not like this one bit. Any steps toward change or self improvement makes it feel completely threatened.

Most of the wisdom we have been given around the ego tells us that it needs to be tamed, silenced or killed altogether. I actually invite you to treat this voice like you would a small, frightened child. Tell yourself that these fears are warranted, that you have heard what they have to say. But it doesn’t need to be afraid, as you will venture forward with your very best interests at heart, on a path full of self love and care. You can even imagine giving this aspect of your psyche a warm, secure hug. See how it responds…

3. Focus on your own practice

As a yoga teacher, I often invite my students to gently close their eyes during class. Especially during poses where their bodies stretch deeper towards their toes or the floor! We all have this itch that makes us want to peek at our neighbour’s mat, or obtain a secret pleasure in the fact that we can bend further.

Everyone’s journey is different, whether it’s yoga or business. Comparing yourself with someone who has been in business 10 years longer is not being fair to yourself. One of my favourite quotes by B-School founder, Marie Forleo, says it all: “The world needs that special gift that only you have”.

4. Observe how far you’ve come

It can be hard to look at ourselves objectively at times, as we only see how far we still have to go in our business. How many emails we’d like on our database, how many clients we’d like to have per month, how much more work there is to do on our website…. rarely do we turn around and look back at what we’ve already accomplished.

Perhaps you’ve finally sorted out your invoicing software or created an offering that you’re really proud of. It’s really important to take a moment to pat yourself on the back for all your hard work. Write 5-10 of them down and create a board on Pinterest, place the list on your corkboard or keep the list in Evernote to refer to in times of need.

How do you calm the comparison urge? And what is something you’ve created recently that you’re proud of?


Fiorella Kis-Major is a yoga & meditation teacher, wellness coach, writer and speaker. She works with stressed women to rediscover their focused centre. She also facilitates monthly Women’s Circles for women to connect. She is passionate about self-care and wellness being a necessity, not a luxury, in the life of every woman.

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